Be Aware of Your Thinking

One of the most mind-blowing concepts I learned about when I started being coached and coaching myself was the idea of observing my own thoughts.   

I had pretty much gone through life simply thinking thoughts and reacting to the circumstances around me without any kind of consciousness of where my thoughts were coming from.  They seemed automatic, like they were happening to me and I had very little control over them. 

But once I was introduced to coaching, I learned that I actually had a choice in what I thought about - and that I could get the results I wanted in my life simply by managing those thoughts.   

What a concept! 

Become an Observer 

Every day, we have anywhere between 40,000 and 60,000 thoughts meandering through our brains, most of which we aren’t consciously aware of.  But as humans, we actually do have the unique ability to observe and evaluate them. In psychology, the term for this ability is metacognition.  It’s how we’re able to talk to ourselves! 

We can use this ability to our advantage by becoming an “observer” or a “watcher” of our own thoughts. An example in my own life was how I had to learn to observe the thoughts that weren’t serving me in my own weight loss journey. 

I had known for years that I was an emotional eater, so at first, I just let myself be curious about the thoughts that were leading me to eat when my body certainly didn’t need the fuel.  Just being inquisitive was a gentle first step to becoming aware of the chatter in my mind. 

This took practice and was easier at certain times and more challenging at others.  For me, the key was to try to be aware of what I was thinking in any given moment.  I especially tried to be more aware at mealtimes or when I was around food.   

Practice Makes Perfect 

When starting this new habit, being an observer of my thoughts was easier when I was engaged in some kind of mindless activity like folding the laundry or taking a shower.  However, with more practice, I found myself being able to stop and become aware of my thinking during other, more engaged periods of my day.   

What are some other habits that this could apply to?  

Procrastination Begins with a Thought, Too 

Let’s say that you have a big project coming up – you are in charge of organizing your child’s soccer team’s end-of-the-season party.  You have already completed some of the tasks that need to get done:  deciding on a date and time, reserving the party room at the community center, announcing the details to the team, etc.  The next task that needs to be completed is calling around to find out the prices of trophies.  So, you block out a quiet hour on your schedule one afternoon while the kids are still at school. 

However, as the hour approaches, rather than sitting down to make the calls, you opt to check Facebook instead (really quickly, you think, just to see how many likes you got on your post about last night’s episode of the Bachelor.) 

Before you know it, the time you had set aside to make the calls is gone and the kids are walking in the door, ready for mom-attention and snacks. 

Once again, you did not get done what you had diligently set aside time to do.  Why? 

If you were to get curious and search your mind to figure out why you chose to surf the internet instead of making the phone calls, thoughts like these might pop up: 

“Making phones calls is boring and tedious,” or, 

“the party’s not until next month, I have time,” or even, 

“Why am I the only parent who volunteers to do this stuff, can’t someone else make the phone calls?” 

Most certainly, thoughts like these would cause you to not want to make the phone calls.  They can only lead to negative feelings.  Who wants to experience negative feelings?  Our brains certainly don’t.  Checking social media is much easier and far more pleasant. 

The First Step Toward Change 

The secret to changing habits that don’t serve you – like emotional eating or procrastinating – is to change your thoughts about them. And you can’t change something that you are not aware of.   That is why being aware of the thoughts you do have is the most important first step toward change. 

Like I discovered with my own overeating, the more you practice this awareness, the better you get at being conscious of your own thoughts.  That’s when you can really dig in and do the work on managing your thoughts and feelings to get the results you want in your life.   

Now it’s your turn to start paying attention. Be open to seeing what’s knocking around in that precious brain of yours - especially when you find yourself doing things that you’d rather not be doing.  Be a curious observer of your own mind.