Thought Models: Circumstances vs. Thoughts

When it comes to thought models, understanding the difference between circumstances and thoughts is often one of the more difficult things to do – especially for newbies. 

As I explained in my last post, when your brain has a thought, it is simply interpreting and applying meaning to the experiences and situations you have as you go about your day, living your life.  These experiences can also be referred to as circumstances. 

So, for every circumstance you encounter in your life, you’re going to have some sort of thought about it – whether you are conscious of the thought or not. 

Circumstances Are Always Neutral 

Let’s say that you have a thought about a problem you have in your life, like being disorganized.  You probably think the problem of being disorganized is a circumstance.  After all, in your mind, it is just a fact.  You think, “I am disorganized,” and believe that your brain is just observing a truth. 

This is where people, especially when they’re new to the Model, get tripped up.  In fact, the sentence in your brain that says, “I am disorganized,” is actually a thought, not a circumstance. 

You see, circumstances are simply neutral facts about something. They are not open to interpretation, have no judgment applied to them, and everyone in the world would agree on them.  One test for a circumstance is imagining if it would stand up in a court of law. 

For example, your thought of “I am disorganized” might occur when you can’t find a receipt for the $200.00 lamp you need to return.  In fact, you have indeed lost the receipt - it is gone and nowhere to be found.  Your circumstance is that you lost the receipt.   

Your Thoughts Are Not Neutral 

Not everyone in the world would necessarily agree that you’re disorganized just because you lost a receipt.  There might people who think that you are actually much more organized than they could ever be. 

As a matter of fact, there are probably people out there who have lost several receipts in the last month.  Those people would most likely readily agree that you are not disorganized just because you lost one receipt. 

And what about all those dinners you manage to put on the table most weeknights at 6:00 pm?  Would that take some significant organizational abilities?  Your family, who benefit from these home-cooked meals, might see you not as a disorganized person, but rather as a person who simply lost an important receipt. 

So, in this situation, the actual circumstance is that you lost a receipt and the meaning that you assign to that act, “I am disorganized,” is the thought. 

Another example of this might be when you have the thought, “My friend is mad at me because she canceled our dinner date for Friday.” 

How do you know she is mad?  Did she tell you that?  In this case scenario, she actually sent you a text that simply said, “I have to cancel our dinner plans for Friday, sorry about the short notice.” 

Your brain thinking your girlfriend is angry is simply just a thought.  The only circumstance, that everyone who knows about the situation could agree on, is that she canceled your dinner plans on short notice.  It’s your thought that she is mad at you, not the actual circumstance of her canceling dinner, that will most likely cause you bad feelings like hurt or resentment. 

Managing Your Thoughts for the Results You Want 

I know this is can be a difficult concept to grasp at first.  Many of us spend much of our lives thinking that we are the victims of our circumstances and that our thoughts about them are not in our control.  It is a comfortable thought pattern and having to change and relearn after a lifetime of practice isn’t easy. 

But the fact is, a key step in using the Model to manage your mind around being organized and productive is learning to differentiate between circumstances and thoughts.  That’s when you realize that you cannot be controlled by the circumstances in your life. But that you can control the thoughts you have about them. 

And that, my friend, is truly powerful.