Thought Models: Feelings, Actions and Results

Now that you have a really good understanding of circumstances and thoughts, and how they are different, I want to teach you about the rest of the model.   If you haven’t already done so, I recommend you read my blog posts here, and here to acquaint yourself with these concepts. 

As I’ve explained, human beings have thoughts about the circumstances that occur in our lives and the world around us.  It’s what makes us rational. But what happens after we have these thoughts?  And why do we say that we can use our thoughts to create the results we want in our lives? 

Feelings 

When you have a thought about a circumstance, it causes a feeling inside of you.  Feelings are simply the emotions or vibrations you experience in your body like anger, nervousness, and joy. It’s important not to confuse these types of emotional feelings with physical, involuntary sensations like hunger, cold, or physical pain.  You can read more about the difference between emotional feelings and physical sensations in my blog post here. 

 
There are two really important things you need to understand about feelings.  

 
First of all, feelings are never caused by circumstances.  Let’s say your husband forgets to take out the trash before leaving for work.  When you go into the kitchen and see that the garbage can is still full, you feel angry. Now, you probably assume that your anger is caused by the circumstance of your husband forgetting to empty the trash can.  However, it’s actually whatever thoughts you have about him not taking out the garbage (circumstance) that are causing you to have that feeling. 

 
You’re probably thinking something like, “Now, I have to do it, and I don’t want to,” or “he never pulls his weight around here!” But in fact, it’s those thoughts that are making you mad – the thoughts about the circumstance of him not emptying the trash.   

 
What if you thought, “oh, he must have forgotten since he was running late for his meeting this morning.” Or, “I can just do it really quickly before the garbage truck arrives.” Chances are that you wouldn’t be feeling angry, but rather something like understanding or accepting.  Same circumstance, two different thoughts which result in two very different feelings. 

 
The second thing to remember about feelings is that they are always completely voluntary; just like you can choose whatever you want to think about the circumstances in your life, you can also choose how you want to feel about them as well.  So next time you have a feeling you don’t like, examine the thoughts you are having about whatever is going on and notice how they could be directly responsible for that feeling.  

Actions 

In the thought model, the Action line refers to behaviors, reactions, or inactions that result from your feelings.  In the example of your husband not emptying the garbage, you will probably act out in some way as a result of feeling angry.  For example, you might send him an irate text at work, you might refuse to take out the trash yourself, or in the case of emotional eating, you might indulge in a donut with your coffee in order to avoid feeling the anger altogether. 

However, if you choose different feelings, you’ll perform different actions.  Sometimes the difference is subtle, like a change in the tone of your voice.  Or sometimes you might choose inaction, like avoiding certain people or situations.

In the example above, when you change your thoughts and create feelings such as understanding or acceptance about your husband forgetting to take out the garbage, your actions will also be really different.  In that case, you might just empty the trash yourself or make mental note to remind your husband next time so that he doesn’t forget again. 

The most effective actions are usually the result of positive, authentic feelings.  When you manage your thinking and take action from the feelings that you want to have, you can change behaviors for the long term and create amazing results in your life. 

Results 

The final component of the thought model is Results.  Simply put, results are the effects of your actions. The result of sending your husband a nasty text when he didn’t take out the trash might be the two of you getting in a fight later that night.  Whereas the result of you simply emptying the garbage yourself might be the two of you spending a pleasant evening together. Choosing different actions will lead you to different results. 

Up to this point, you may have thought that the results in your life have been something that has just happened to you - that they are beyond your control.  But the truth is, you are entirely responsible for the results in your life because they are generated by your actions which come from your feelings, which are created by your thoughts. 

What could be more empowering than that?